“Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless.” — Edward Albert
I have always noted people saying that they dedicated all their lives for their children, parents or spouse and in return did not get what they deserve. They have been so selfless that they give up on their own hobbies, carrier or other choices just to accommodate in their present situation. If they would not have done so, they would have ruined their family or society would have cursed them or their family for their deeds.
This is because, in the society we live, people always promote the idea that being selfless is the true meaning of being a good human. And, actually, in doing so, you often cost your own wealth, welfare and above all- your happiness.
So, in my opinion, being a little selfish is not too bad. You don’t need to be a Hitler personality for that. After all you are also a human being and can give some priority to yourself too. So that in your 50’s or 60’s, you won’t be saying that I am sad coz I could not lead my life my way. Read below and think a little while….
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
If someone, your near & dear asks you whom should you give importance-themselves or someone else, what would you reply? Imagine yourself replying, “Go ahead and make others happy even if you feel the most miserable”. I think none of us would. We always suggest others the best thing we could but when it comes to us, we forget that all. Why don’t we try to be our friend first and suggest ourselves things that are most appropriate to us too. We always want others to pamper us, be our well-wisher, and we follow others’ suggestions so religiously. And then those others becomes the reason for our sorrows, our happiness and our good or bad times. The philosophy of the wealthy is to get rich first, get what you want, and then help others in any way you wish. And in same manner, the philosophy of happiness, get yourself happy and you will be able to make others happy too. Don’t seek others for your own happiness, create it within yourself. You alone is responsible for your happiness and no one else. And same with others, you are not responsible for others happiness. A little selfishness in your self can make you a better you.
How to be selfish
- Learn to say ‘NO’. Remember, it’s not always necessary to accept each & everything whether you want it or not. Say no to those things that you really don’t want to do.
- Give yourself importance too. Include yourself in the list of important people in your life and get some time for doing stuff you like.
- Selfishness does not mean using others. Selfishness means being first and foremost interested in your own targets. Selfishness has nothing to do with others. A person who hurts others is a Contravention in terms.
- Life is a chain of compromises. Be selfish but don’t be rude. You should not be selfish about each and everything, but you should be selfish on what would make you the best person you can be. If you don’t want to lose your health, money, time, or assets, think if they are that important to you. Are you satisfied by them? If so, then carry on with your choice, if not, reconsider.
- Get rid of your unwanted friends. You don’t need to explain this and if you have to, then be honest with whatever you feel.
- The most important thing in being selfish is using your mind. Many selfish people end up suffering a misfortune in life coz they did not think things through and did not look at the long term circumstances. You must use reason and be able to think if you are going to prosecute your own goals.
Duke Ellington (an American composer, pianist and bandleader of jazz orchestras) once said, “Selfishness can be a virtue. Selfishness is essential to survival, and without survival we cannot protect those whom we love more than ourselves.”
Your job is to make yourself happy and others are there to make themselves happy. Simple!!! And remember it does not mean that you start hurting your beloved ones. Do what you like and like what you do….